[It’s a weird feeling, to say the least. It’s weird enough to feel his own soul, his own sense of self, all his hopes and dreams slip away and leaving just… nothingness behind. He’s been depressed before, he’s even had to seek help for it so he’s not a stranger to it but this is absolutely unlike anything he’s ever felt. Or not-felt, as is the case. It’s turning every little thought of his into something dark, painful, dirty like it’s going through a filter and taking out all the color and life out of it.
Meeting Lois, their wedding, meeting Chris, every happy moment he spent with his father- all gone, all forgotten in favour of seeing Lois tortured, near-dead because of him. Of losing Chris, having to leave him behind. Of Jonathan’s death and how he was too busy listening to New Krypton to even hear it. But Kon didn’t just get stubbornness from one part of his DNA, and so he holds onto it. Holds onto hope.
And feeling Kon... fight for it back? Feeling how Kon is pulling his soul in the opposite direction (however that may work) is just… something else. But it does give him some will to fight, it does make the static in his brain telling him to give up and just let go quiet down, it does give him something to fight for.
Kon may have his stubbornness to latch onto, may have his determination and he’s been through so much, so much of course a Dementor will need more than this to defeat him. But right now, all Kal’s got to hold onto is how absolute proud he is of the kid.]
You did it.
[Is all he can manage to say once Kon comes close, once Kon is finished with the Dementor. Because it may be gone now but the memories, the whispers are all still all too real in his head and while Kal is naturally hopeful (he wouldn’t be able to call himself an El if he weren’t) it will still take a while to completely shake those thoughts out, to get joy back.]
You used… you just used your powers, didn’t you? You were so worried, but right now you were so brave, Kon.
[He reaches to squeeze his shoulder, looking at him right in his black eyes. Ignoring the darkness in them, ignoring the changes he sees because he wants Kon to know that nothing’s changed, that he truly doesn’t have to hide this from him anymore. He’ll never, ever forget the worried look in Kon’s eyes as he tried to hide what this place had done to him, as he compared it to when he lied to Kal about Luthor. And even though a lot of Kon’s issues are his own fault he’s not letting him think he has to hide himself from Kal ever again.
If anything, being reminded of every moment he failed, of every little thing he did wrong with Kon is only making his resolve stronger.]
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Meeting Lois, their wedding, meeting Chris, every happy moment he spent with his father- all gone, all forgotten in favour of seeing Lois tortured, near-dead because of him. Of losing Chris, having to leave him behind. Of Jonathan’s death and how he was too busy listening to New Krypton to even hear it. But Kon didn’t just get stubbornness from one part of his DNA, and so he holds onto it. Holds onto hope.
And feeling Kon... fight for it back? Feeling how Kon is pulling his soul in the opposite direction (however that may work) is just… something else. But it does give him some will to fight, it does make the static in his brain telling him to give up and just let go quiet down, it does give him something to fight for.
Kon may have his stubbornness to latch onto, may have his determination and he’s been through so much, so much of course a Dementor will need more than this to defeat him. But right now, all Kal’s got to hold onto is how absolute proud he is of the kid.]
You did it.
[Is all he can manage to say once Kon comes close, once Kon is finished with the Dementor. Because it may be gone now but the memories, the whispers are all still all too real in his head and while Kal is naturally hopeful (he wouldn’t be able to call himself an El if he weren’t) it will still take a while to completely shake those thoughts out, to get joy back.]
You used… you just used your powers, didn’t you? You were so worried, but right now you were so brave, Kon.
[He reaches to squeeze his shoulder, looking at him right in his black eyes. Ignoring the darkness in them, ignoring the changes he sees because he wants Kon to know that nothing’s changed, that he truly doesn’t have to hide this from him anymore. He’ll never, ever forget the worried look in Kon’s eyes as he tried to hide what this place had done to him, as he compared it to when he lied to Kal about Luthor. And even though a lot of Kon’s issues are his own fault he’s not letting him think he has to hide himself from Kal ever again.
If anything, being reminded of every moment he failed, of every little thing he did wrong with Kon is only making his resolve stronger.]
Are you okay?