Where else are you going to keep them? [Although when he thinks about it, he realizes that he's never actually had a barrel of apples. A bag, maybe? Sometimes Dixon's dad used to bring home boxes of past-date produce from the grocery store he worked at.]

I keep wanting to think this whole quest is a push. A big push, I mean, everything about this feels big.

[He wants to believe he can be better and he also wants to give up. One would bring pride, the other the sort of relief that comes from knowing you don't have to keep trying at something.]